She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
