i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
my liver is dry heaving
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
