are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
3pm strippers are depressing
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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