my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
There r osticjed everywhere
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The struggles of a small town man whore
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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