My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
