Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
