I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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