im drinking this country out of the recession.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
