A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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