I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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