its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
