spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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