I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
