i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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