You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
