happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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