He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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