When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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