Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
