How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
