So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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