I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
