i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
So squirting runs in the family.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
