I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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