Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
