it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
