a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
