He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
