White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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