Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
a search helicopter?!
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
