i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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