maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
