remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you inspire me to be a worse person
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
