the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
