I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I think we might need a safe word for this...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
