covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
