Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Randomize
