So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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