Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
