Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
