Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
