Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
