I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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