We got so high we made milksteak
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My bed smells like the plague
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
