Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
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