hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Enjoy the penises
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
