Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
