You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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