For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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