She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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