yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
