she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
