i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He had one of those small greek statue penises
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
